Better best

Another night :/

The freshly dug wounds unveiled. Its gonna take some time before it could close up again. Really, sometimes i do doubt my existence. The purpose of my life. The blow came again and again. Be it prepared or not.

The freedom that i yearn for. its gonna take ages to achieve and im still working hard towards that. But i was merely hoping life for a slight better change. That little change is all i ever ask of.

10years down the road, im gonna smile and tell myself that i've grown to be a even more better person. I'll smile through those bad times with the definite you. Its for myself.

But for now, sorry heart, for all the pain and sorrows. They wil need time to heal.

The short meeting was thankful. I was all losing hope. Cause, i dont want to disturb anyone's life. And it gets tired to try too hard to do so. To be honest, the meet-ups are draining me. Not that i dislike. But it consumes me and i wanna put in that little more effort in my academics. At least an account to myself. Even if failed, its a willing trial and with no regrets. As for now i'll hold on a little more til the end of my breath.

Sometimes, just sometimes. When the whining to another being starts. Its not about anyone being able to provide me with the best solution nor anything. Its just to vent. Hearing my everythings and i'll be okay again. I just find that im losing the rights soon. Not that i didnt wan to contact you anymore. Its i dont wanna disturb you. And that'll probavly be when drifting starts all over again. But no, i'll hold on. As promised.

Can i have someone to hug me and tell me things will be better?